Questions for Couples
Swipe through conversation starters, save the good ones, or make a list of 21.
- Time
- As long as you like
- Players
- Two players, no turns
- Best for
- Dinner, drives and quiet evenings
- Deck
- 120 questions in 6 categories
How to use the questions
- Pick a category from the menu, or keep “All categories”.
- Read the question on the top card and both answer it.
- Swipe the card away, or tap “Next question”, for the next one. Questions do not repeat until you have seen the whole category.
- Tap the heart to save a question on this device, or tap “Make a 21-question list” for a list you can copy.
When to ask these questions
A good question beats “how was your day”. It gives the other person permission to say something they have been meaning to say, and it turns a routine dinner into the kind of conversation you had when you first met.
Over dinner
One card with dessert. Both answer, then follow up with “what made you think of that?”
On a walk
Draw a question, put the phone away, and take the whole walk to answer it.
Apart
The long distance page shows both of you the same daily question, so a five-minute call has somewhere to start.
Ways to use these questions
One question a night
Draw a single card at dinner or before bed and both answer it. It takes five minutes and it works better than any grand plan to “talk more”.
The 21 questions game for couples
Generate a numbered list of 21 questions, then take turns answering the same one. If you are playing over messages, copy the list and send it in one go.
Pick a category on purpose
Use “Memories” on an anniversary, “Future” when you are making plans, and “Deep” when you have the whole evening. Saved favorites slowly become your own deck.
Getting good answers
- Answer first if you asked. It makes the other person feel safe to go deeper.
- Save the questions that surprised you. They are worth asking again in a year.
All 120 questions for couples by category
The complete list, grouped by category. The game draws from the same list, so you can browse here and play there.
Getting to know you
Easy openers for a first date, a new relationship, or a partner you thought you already knew.
- What is a small daily ritual that makes your day better?
- What did you want to be when you were ten?
- What's a skill you'd learn tomorrow if you had the time?
- What's your favorite way to spend a rainy Sunday?
- Which book, film, or album has shaped you the most?
- What's a food you could eat every week without getting bored?
- Honestly, are you more of a morning person or a night owl?
- What's something you're surprisingly good at?
Show all 20 getting to know you cards
- What music do you play when nobody's listening?
- What's a hobby you've always wanted to try?
- Who has influenced you the most, and how?
- What's your favorite thing about the place you grew up?
- What's a compliment you received that you still think about?
- What's your go-to comfort movie?
- If you could master any language, which would it be?
- What's one thing on your bucket list that surprises people?
- What's your favorite season, and what does it remind you of?
- What was your favorite subject at school?
- What's a smell that instantly takes you somewhere?
- What's a tradition from your family you'd like to keep?
Deep
Slower questions about values, fears and what a good life looks like.
- When do you feel most like yourself?
- What's something you're proud of that you rarely mention?
- What does a good life look like to you?
- What belief have you changed your mind about?
- What do you need more of in your life right now?
- How do you want to be remembered?
- What's the kindest thing someone has ever done for you?
- What does love look like when nobody's watching?
Show all 20 deep cards
- What's a fear you've outgrown?
- What's something you're still figuring out about yourself?
- When was the last time you felt truly at peace?
- What's a lesson that took you a long time to learn?
- What do you wish more people understood about you?
- What helps you feel safe?
- Which part of your life would you like to slow down?
- What's a question you've been afraid to ask me?
- How do you know when you're happy?
- What's a boundary that changed your life for the better?
- What does forgiveness mean to you?
- Which past version of yourself are you most grateful for?
Fun
Light, silly questions for a road trip or a night when nobody wants to be serious.
- If we opened a café, what would we name it?
- What's the most useless talent you have?
- What would your walk-out song be?
- If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?
- What's the weirdest food combination you actually enjoy?
- What would you do with a completely free day and an unlimited budget?
- If you had to wear one color forever, which would you pick?
- What's a movie you'll defend even though everyone else hates it?
Show all 20 fun cards
- What's the best prank you've ever pulled or witnessed?
- Which animal would make the best roommate?
- If our life were a sitcom, what would the theme song be?
- What's a job you'd be absolutely terrible at?
- What's the silliest thing you've ever argued about?
- If you could instantly become an expert at one game, which one?
- What's your most irrational fear?
- Which emoji sums up your week?
- What's a small luxury you'd never give up?
- If you could rename yourself for a day, what would you pick?
- What's your karaoke song?
- Which decade would you visit for a weekend?
Future
Where you're going, what you want, and what you'd like to build together.
- Where do you picture us living in ten years?
- What's a trip you'd like us to take someday?
- What kind of home would feel most like ours?
- What's a goal you'd like us to work on together this year?
- What do you hope our weekends look like in five years?
- Which tradition would you like to start together?
- What does growing old together look like to you?
- What's a skill you want us both to learn?
Show all 20 future cards
- How do you imagine celebrating our next big milestone?
- What would you do if money were no object for a year?
- What's a dream you'd like me to cheer you on for?
- What do you want more of in our relationship next year?
- What's a habit you'd like us to build together?
- If we wrote a bucket list for two, what's the first item?
- What kind of community do you want us to be part of?
- What's your ideal way to spend a holiday together?
- What would you like our home to smell like on a Sunday morning?
- What's a fear about the future we could face together?
- What's a promise you'd like us to make to each other?
- What's one thing you'd never want us to lose?
Memories
The story of you two, told one favorite moment at a time.
- What's your favorite memory of us so far?
- What did you think after our first date ended?
- What's a moment that made you feel closest to me?
- What's the funniest thing that has happened to us?
- Which of our trips would you relive?
- What's a small moment you still think about?
- What's the best meal we've shared?
- What's something I did early on that surprised you?
Show all 20 memories cards
- What's the story behind your favorite photo of us?
- What's a challenge we've overcome that you're proud of?
- When did you first feel like we were a team?
- What's a gift from me that meant more than I probably realized?
- What was the first thing you noticed about me?
- What's a song that brings back a specific memory of us?
- What's the most spontaneous thing we've done together?
- What's a childhood memory you'd like to share with me?
- Which holiday together stands out the most?
- What's a moment you wish we had photographed?
- What did you tell your best friend after we met?
- What's a tradition we've accidentally created?
Romance
How you like to be loved, and how you'd like to love back.
- What makes you feel most loved by me?
- What's your favorite way to be shown affection?
- What's a date you'd love to be surprised with?
- What's something romantic you've always wanted to try?
- How do you like to be comforted after a hard day?
- What's your favorite thing I say to you?
- What's a small gesture that means a lot to you?
- When do you find me most attractive?
Show all 20 romance cards
- What's your idea of a perfect evening together?
- What do you love about the way we say hello and goodbye?
- What's the most romantic place you can imagine us together?
- What's a love song that feels like us?
- How can I make you feel more appreciated?
- What would your dream anniversary look like?
- What's a compliment you'd like to hear more often?
- What's the sweetest thing I've done without realizing it?
- What does a perfect lazy morning together look like?
- How do you want to be kissed hello?
- What's a romantic tradition you'd like us to keep forever?
- What's one thing you'd whisper to me if no one else could hear?
Frequently asked questions
How many questions for couples are there?
There are 120 questions: twenty in each of six categories. Both the card game and the list on this page use the same set.
Are these good questions for a new couple?
Start with “Getting to know you” and “Fun”. They are easy to answer and reveal a lot without feeling like an interview. Save “Deep” and “Future” for later.
Where are my saved questions kept?
In your browser’s local storage, on this device only. Nothing is sent to a server, and clearing your browser data removes them.