Questions for Married Couples
Questions for two people who already share a life, and still have plenty to find out.
- Time
- 10–40 min
- Players
- Two players, no turns
- Best for
- Weeknights at home and anniversaries
- Deck
- 100 questions in 5 categories
How to use these questions for married couples
- Pick a category from the menu under the card, or keep “All categories”.
- Read the question on the top card aloud and both answer it.
- Swipe the card away, or tap “Next question”, for the next one. Questions do not repeat until you have seen the whole category.
- Tap the heart to save a question on this device, or tap “Make a 10-question list” for a list you can copy.
When to ask questions for married couples
After a few years, most talk is about logistics: who is picking what up, and when. One good question turns the end of an ordinary day back into a conversation about the two of you.
The last ten minutes of the day
One card from Appreciation with the lights off. It is a gentle way to fall asleep thinking about each other instead of tomorrow’s to-do list.
Your anniversary
Then and now over a long dinner, followed by a few cards from The years ahead for the walk home.
A first evening in a new place
After a move, Our home helps you decide what makes somewhere feel like yours. For a lighter round, try how well do you know me.
Ways to use questions for married couples
A card with the dishes
Draw one question from Everyday life while you clear the table together. Busy hands make easy talk, and the answer is often a small story you had not heard.
Swap the thank-yous
Take turns on Appreciation: one of you draws and answers, then hands the phone across. Three cards each is enough to change the mood of a whole evening.
Start an anniversary list
Each year, save five cards from Then and now and The years ahead with the heart. Open the same list a year later and see which answers have moved.
Small things that help
- Ask for one more detail. “Which kettle?” turns a short answer into a memory.
- Answers that differ are just as good as answers that match. Both tell you something new.
- Leave the phone face down once the card is read, so the talk has your full attention.
All 100 questions for married couples by category
The complete list, grouped by category. The cards above draw from the same list, so you can read ahead here and play there.
Everyday life
The small routines, jokes and moments that fill a shared day.
- What part of an ordinary weekday with me do you look forward to most?
- Which of our inside jokes still makes you laugh, no matter how old it is?
- Which of my everyday sounds, like humming or the kettle, would you recognize anywhere?
- How do you like the two of us to spend a slow Saturday morning?
- What do you wish we did together on weeknights a little more often?
- Which meal do we make so often that it has become ours?
- Between dinner and lights out, which part of the evening is your favorite?
- How do you like to hear about my day: right away, over food, or later?
Show all 20 in Everyday lifeShow fewer
- What’s a word or phrase that only makes sense inside our home?
- Which errand turns into a small adventure when we run it together?
- On which day of the week do we look after each other best?
- What’s one tweak to our daily routine that would make both our days easier?
- Which shows, podcasts or books have become part of our shared week?
- How do you like to be greeted when you walk through the door?
- What was the best ordinary day we’ve had lately, and what made it good?
- Which kind of message from me in the middle of the day makes you smile?
- Whoever wakes first gets a little quiet time. What do you do with yours?
- What’s something we do on autopilot that you actually love?
- Just for fun, which of our everyday jobs would you swap with me for a week?
- Where do we have our best small talk: the car, the kitchen or the sofa?
Then and now
How you have both changed over the years, and what has stayed the same.
- What did you imagine our life would look like when we first set up home together?
- How have I changed since we married, in ways you like?
- What’s something about you that has changed because of me?
- Which of our early habits have we kept, and which have quietly faded?
- What would the version of you from our first year together be surprised by now?
- Which of your opinions have I slowly come around to?
- Something you were nervous about in our first year turned out fine. What was it?
- Which old photo of us do you like looking at most, and why?
Show all 20 in Then and nowShow fewer
- What did a typical weekend look like for us at the start, compared with now?
- What is easier between us now than it used to be?
- Which skill have you picked up from me over the years?
- What did you once find odd about me that you now find endearing?
- Which trip or season from our early days do you think about most often?
- How has the way we celebrate birthdays changed over the years?
- What do you know about me now that you wish you had known on day one?
- Which piece of advice about marriage turned out truest for us?
- What’s one thing we used to do that you would like to bring back?
- From the day we married, which small moment do you still smile about?
- What did a perfect Friday night mean to you back then, and what does it mean now?
- Which of our old plans are you glad we never followed through on?
Our home
The rooms, smells, objects and unwritten rules of the place you share.
- Which spot in our home feels most like yours?
- Which room do you love most at one particular time of day?
- What smell makes our place feel like home to you?
- Which object in our home has the best story behind it?
- If we could add one room to our home, what would it be for?
- What’s a house rule we never wrote down but always follow?
- Of all the places we’ve lived, where are your favorite memories?
- What makes our home feel cozy on a cold, dark evening?
Show all 20 in Our homeShow fewer
- If we moved tomorrow, which thing on our shelves would you pack first?
- What one small change would make our mornings at home calmer?
- On a lazy Sunday, should our home sound like music, quiet or chatter?
- Which gathering we hosted at home do you remember most fondly?
- Where in our home do we have our best long conversations?
- Is there a plant, pet or object you think of as part of the family?
- If our home had a name on the gate, what would it be?
- Which corner of our home deserves a little more love?
- What do you love about coming home after time away?
- What’s something in our kitchen you could never part with?
- With no plans at all, what would your dream weekend at home include?
- What little routine tells you the day at home is properly over?
Appreciation
The things you are grateful for that usually go unsaid.
- What’s something you did this month that I should have thanked you for?
- Which of my qualities do you lean on most?
- When did I last make a hard day easier for you?
- What’s a way I show love that you appreciate more now than you used to?
- Which of my habits makes your life quietly easier?
- What do you admire about the way I treat other people?
- What’s something I’m good at that you brag about to friends?
- What’s the kindest thing I’ve done that nobody else saw?
Show all 20 in AppreciationShow fewer
- Which of my everyday efforts do you notice, even when you don’t mention it?
- During a stressful stretch, what did I do that you still remember?
- What’s one thing about our marriage you would not trade for anything?
- How do you most like to be thanked: out loud, in a note, or with a small gesture?
- Which of my little surprises has meant the most to you?
- What do you think I bring to our home that nobody else could?
- When have you felt proudest to be married to me?
- What’s a compliment you think I don’t hear often enough?
- Which gift from me, big or small, do you still treasure?
- Which part of how I care for you would you like more of?
- What about the way we work together makes you grateful?
- If you wrote me a thank-you note right now, what would the first line say?
The years ahead
Rituals, places and small plans for the next chapter together.
- Which yearly ritual would you like us to keep until we’re very old?
- Where would you like to be on our next anniversary?
- What’s a skill you’d love us to learn together in the next few years?
- Which place should we see together before our next big anniversary?
- Which part of our weekends do you hope survives every change ahead?
- What do you hope we never stop doing, however busy life gets?
- What do you want to make more time for, together or apart?
- Who do you hope fills our home in ten years: friends, family, pets or just us?
Show all 20 in The years aheadShow fewer
- What kind of place do you picture us living in later on?
- Which friends do you hope are still around our table in twenty years?
- What would you like to get better at as a partner next year?
- What project would you like us to finish together by this time next year?
- How should we mark our next milestone anniversary?
- What have you always wanted to try that we could start planning now?
- Which of your dreams can I help with in the coming year?
- In twenty years, what would a perfect ordinary day look like for us?
- Which ten-minute daily ritual, like an evening walk, should we add this year?
- Looking back on this year someday, what do you hope we remember?
- Which adventure feels too big right now but right for us someday?
- What would you like us to still be saying to each other in ten years?
Frequently asked questions
How many questions for married couples are there?
There are 100 questions, 20 in each of five categories: everyday life, then and now, our home, appreciation, and the years ahead. The cards and the list on this page use the same set.
Do these work for couples who just got married?
Yes. Everyday life, Our home and Appreciation fit any length of marriage, and Then and now works from the first year on, since even a few months together leave plenty to look back on.
Are these different from questions to ask before marriage?
Yes. The questions to ask before marriage are for planning: money, family and the future. These start from the life you already share, so they lean toward memories, gratitude and small plans.
Can couples who are not married use them?
Most of them, yes. Any couple who lives together can play, and the few cards that mention marriage are easy to read as “since we moved in” instead.