Questions to Ask Before Moving In Together
Everyday questions for two people about to share one address.
- Time
- 20–45 min
- Players
- Two players, no turns
- Best for
- Couples planning a shared home
- Deck
- 100 questions in 5 categories
How to use these moving-in questions
- Pick a category from the menu under the card, or keep “All categories”.
- Read the question on the top card aloud and both answer it.
- Swipe the card away, or tap “Next question”, for the next one. Questions do not repeat until you have seen the whole category.
- Tap the heart to save a question on this device, or tap “Make a 10-question list” for a list you can copy.
When to ask questions before moving in together
These questions go best before the boxes come out, while there is still time to plan. A relaxed evening on the couch is enough; none of them needs a special occasion.
The night you decide to move in
A few cards from The new place while the idea is still exciting. Picturing the first night together is an easy way to begin.
On the way home from a viewing
Shared costs and Daily rhythm, while the commute, the rent and the size of the kitchen are still fresh in your mind.
A month after the move
Come back to Chores and tidiness and Space and quiet once you have lived with the answers for a while. Some will have changed, and that is fine.
Ways to use these questions before the move
A card per box
While you pack, draw one card each time a box is taped shut. By the time the van arrives you have talked through most of the move without setting aside a whole evening.
One shared house note
After each card, add one line to a note you can both edit, such as “bins: whoever notices”. By moving day you have a short house guide in your own words.
Guess first, then answer
Before your partner answers, guess what they will say. The guesses show which habits you already know and which ones you are about to discover.
Small things that make the first weeks easier
- Give the little things their time. Towels, alarms and the thermostat come up every single day.
- When your answers differ, you have found something to plan together, and that is the whole point.
- Keep it light. Laugh about the snooze count first, then decide what you will actually do.
All 100 questions to ask before moving in together by category
The complete list, grouped by category. The cards above draw from the same list, so you can read ahead here and play there.
Daily rhythm
Alarms, dinners, weekends and the small timings of a shared day.
- What time does your alarm go off on a workday, and how many snoozes follow?
- When you get home, do you want to chat right away or have a quiet few minutes first?
- Which part of your morning do you prefer to do without company?
- What would a perfect lazy Sunday in our new place look like to you?
- Do you like dinner at a set time, or whenever hunger shows up?
- If we both need the bathroom at 7:30, who goes first?
- Which weekly ritual of yours do you want to bring with you when we move in?
- How do you like to wind down in the last hour before sleep?
Show all 20 in Daily rhythmShow fewer
- Do you plan weekends ahead, or decide on Saturday morning?
- What do you need to fall asleep: silence, a fan, rain sounds or a podcast?
- How many dinners a week would you like to eat together?
- Would you rather do the weekly food shop together or take turns?
- Which small daily habit of yours do you think I will notice in the first week?
- How would you like to be woken up on a morning you have overslept?
- Which evenings of the week are usually your busiest?
- When one of us gets up much earlier, what counts as quiet enough in the kitchen?
- How do you like to spend the first hour of a day off?
- Could we have evenings where we each do our own thing in the same room?
- Is breakfast together something you would want, or are mornings too rushed for it?
- When you work late, would you like me to wait for dinner or eat without you?
Chores and tidiness
Dishes, bins, laundry and what “tidy enough” means to each of you.
- Would you rather swap chores every month or each keep the same ones?
- How long can dishes sit in the sink before they start to bother you?
- Do you make the bed every morning, sometimes or never?
- How often do you think the bathroom needs a proper clean?
- Where do your shoes, keys and bag usually land when you walk in?
- Is a pile of clean laundry on a chair tidy enough, or does it need folding?
- What do you think of a weekly reset hour where we both tidy at the same time?
- Should taking out the trash be one person’s job, or whoever notices first?
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- How do you like the fridge organized, if at all?
- What does a clean kitchen look like to you at the end of the night?
- What is a kind way to remind you about a job that has been waiting a while?
- Do you clean as you cook, or clear everything up at the end?
- Which of your things are you particular about, like how they are washed or put away?
- Laundry: together, separately, or whoever has a full basket first?
- What tidying habit did you pick up from the home you grew up in?
- How much stuff on the kitchen counter feels cozy, and how much feels cluttered?
- When you are worn out, which chore do you let slide first?
- Would a chore list on the fridge help you, or feel like too much?
- Which job would you like us to do side by side, like a big Sunday clean?
- Who should look after the mail, the plants and the recycling when one of us is away?
Space and quiet
Room to work, rest and recharge when you share the same walls.
- Where in a home do you go when you want to be alone for a bit?
- How can I tell you need some quiet without you having to say it?
- Would headphones work as our sign for “not right now”?
- Do you like the TV or music on in the background, or do you prefer silence?
- If we both work from home, how should we share the desk and the quiet?
- How much wardrobe and drawer space do you think you will need?
- How do you feel about speakerphone calls in the rooms we share?
- Would you enjoy having the place to yourself for a weekend now and then?
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- When one of us comes to bed later, how much light and noise is fine?
- Where should hobby gear like a bike, an easel or a keyboard live?
- What room temperature feels right to you, and who gets the last word on the thermostat?
- Which household sounds do you find hardest to tune out?
- If I have friends over on a night you want quiet, what would help?
- Do you like a door closed when you are reading or working, or always open?
- On movie night, how do we share the couch: sides, one blanket or two?
- What helps you recharge after a busy social day, and how can I give you room for it?
- Should anything stay out of the bedroom, like a desk or the laundry pile?
- Bright overhead lights or a few soft lamps: which feels like home to you?
- How do you like to spend a day off when I am at work?
- Which spot would you pick to read in, and do you like company there?
Shared costs
Rent, bills, groceries and the things you buy for the home.
- How should we split the rent: half each, or another way that feels fair?
- How should groceries work: a shared pot, taking turns, or paying as we go?
- Which accounts need setting up before moving day: power, water, internet?
- Whose names should go on the lease and the utility accounts?
- How should we pay for new things for the home, like a sofa or a kettle?
- If one of us brings most of the furniture, should that count for anything?
- What about subscriptions only one of us uses, like a streaming service?
- Would a shared account for home costs suit you, or would you rather transfer money to each other?
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- How should we cover the move itself: the van, the boxes, the deposit?
- Which household costs do you see as shared, and which as your own?
- Takeout nights: split the bill, take turns, or whoever suggested it pays?
- How should we decide on a bigger home purchase, like a new mattress?
- If something in the home breaks and needs paying for, how should we share the repair?
- Would you like a small shared fund for household bits like soap, light bulbs and trash bags?
- Which home cost is worth paying more for in your eyes: a good mattress, fast internet, something else?
- If one of us has a guest staying for a week, should costs change at all?
- How would you like to track who paid for what: an app, a note or a rough guess?
- Second-hand furniture or new: which do you lean toward for our first place?
- What does a sensible setting-up budget for the first month look like to you?
- Should heating and hot water be split evenly, even if one of us uses more?
The new place
Choosing the home, packing up and making it yours from day one.
- What three things does a place need before it feels like home to you?
- Would you rather move into your place, mine, or somewhere new to us both?
- How long a commute would you accept for the right home?
- What would you trade for an extra room: location, light or size?
- Which one thing of yours is coming with us no matter what?
- We will have two of lots of things. How should we choose which kettle and toaster stay?
- How do you want to spend our first night in the new place?
- Who would you like to invite over first once we are settled?
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- Which room do you want to set up first, and why that one?
- How could we make the place feel like ours on day one: a plant, a picture, a playlist?
- What would make a new neighborhood feel like home to you: a café, a park, a market?
- Should we pack room by room together, or each pack our own things?
- Unpack everything in one weekend, or let it happen slowly over a month?
- How do you feel about mixing our books and mugs on the same shelves?
- Which spot in the new place do you already picture as your favorite?
- Would you like to say hello to the neighbors, or keep to yourself at first?
- Would a few simple house rules help, or should we figure things out as we go?
- Which piece of furniture would you like us to choose together from scratch?
- What small tradition could we start in our first week there?
- Plants: how many, and who will remember to water them?
Frequently asked questions
How many questions to ask before moving in together are there?
There are 100 questions, 20 in each of five categories: daily rhythm, chores and tidiness, space and quiet, shared costs, and the new place. The cards and the list on this page use the same set.
How is this different from the questions to ask before marriage?
These cards stay close to the move and the everyday: alarms, bins, rent and shelf space. The questions to ask before marriage look further ahead, at family, careers and the years to come.
What if we already spend most nights at each other’s place?
Then you know some of the answers already. Start with Shared costs and The new place, which change the most once there is one address and one set of bills.
Do the questions work if one of us moves into the other’s home?
Yes. Space and quiet matters most then, because one of you is arriving and the other is making room. The new place still helps you rearrange a home that one of you already knows well.