Thanksgiving Jokes
A setup on the card, a table full of guesses, and a punchline that earns its groan.
- Time
- 10–30 min
- Players
- Two or more people
- Best for
- Thanksgiving dinner, Friendsgiving and the long weekend
- Deck
- 100 jokes in 5 categories
How to use these Thanksgiving jokes
- Pick a category from the menu under the card, or keep “All categories”.
- Read the setup on the top card aloud and give the table a few seconds to guess the punchline.
- Tap “Show answer”, then “Next joke”, or swipe the card away, for another. Jokes do not repeat until you have seen the whole category.
- Tap the heart to save a joke on this device, or tap “Make a 10-joke list” to copy jokes with their punchlines.
When to tell Thanksgiving jokes
A Thanksgiving joke takes ten seconds to read and a few more to groan at, so it fits all the small waits of the day. The punchline sits one tap away, ready for the moment the table gives up guessing.
While the turkey rests
The bird needs time before carving, and the kitchen is full of hungry people. Turkey jokes, like the one about fowl weather, keep them busy without anyone opening the oven.
Between dinner and pie
Nobody has room for dessert yet. Pie and dessert jokes about pie-oneers and lattice tops fill the gap until the pie has cooled.
An autumn afternoon outside
On a walk or a blanket in the backyard after the feast, Pilgrims and harvest jokes about scarecrows, corn mazes and falling leaves suit the season.
Ways to tell Thanksgiving jokes
Guess the punchline
One person reads the setup and everyone else calls out a punchline before the reveal. A guess that matches the card scores a point, and a funnier guess than the card scores two, if the table agrees. Pass the phone to the left after each joke.
A joke before every dish
Before a dish goes around the table, whoever is holding it reads a joke from its own category: Side dish jokes for the stuffing and gravy, Pie and dessert jokes when the pie comes out. The dish moves on once the table has groaned.
Halftime and the parade
Keep the phone on the arm of the couch while the parade or the game is on. During each commercial break, the next person draws one card from Football, parade and leftovers and reads it with a straight face.
Tips for telling a good Thanksgiving joke
- Pause after the setup. Two or three seconds of guessing makes the punchline land harder, even when everyone groans.
- Read the joke for the moment: Turkey jokes while the bird rests before carving, Pie and dessert jokes as the slices go around.
- Let the person who groans loudest read the next card. A pun round goes best when everyone takes a turn at the setup.
All 100 thanksgiving jokes by category
The complete list, grouped by category. The cards above draw from the same list, so you can read ahead here and play there.
Turkey jokes
Gobbles, tail feathers and drumsticks, from fowl weather to a well-bred bird.
- Why did the turkey cross the road?Answer: to prove it wasn’t chicken
- What sound does a turkey’s phone make?Answer: wing, wing
- Why did the turkey say no to dessert?Answer: it was already stuffed
- What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?Answer: drumsticks for everyone
- How did the turkey feel when the giant parade balloons floated by?Answer: gobble-smacked
- Which key has feathers and shows up every November?Answer: a turkey
- How does a turkey end a phone call?Answer: gobble-bye
- How does a turkey show off in the barnyard?Answer: it struts its stuff
Show all 20 in Turkey jokesShow fewer
- What does a turkey wear to a formal dinner?Answer: a tail coat
- Why did the turkey make every free throw on the basketball court?Answer: great fowl shots
- What kind of car would a turkey drive?Answer: one with tail fins
- Who does a turkey call when its feathers are a mess?Answer: a plume-ber
- What do you call a turkey that loves the spotlight?Answer: a big ham
- What kind of stories do turkeys tell around the fire?Answer: tall tails
- Why is the turkey always so calm?Answer: nothing ruffles its feathers
- What do you call a tom turkey who loves pranks?Answer: tomfoolery
- What’s a turkey’s favorite month of the year?Answer: Feather-uary
- How do turkeys plan a road trip?Answer: they wing it
- What do you call a stormy day on the turkey farm?Answer: fowl weather
- What does a turkey say when the music starts?Answer: shake a tail feather
Pie and dessert jokes
Pumpkin, pecan and apple pies, whipped cream and a scoop of ice cream on top.
- What did the pecan pie say to the pumpkin pie?Answer: you look gourd-geous
- What did the pie say as it was sliced for the table?Answer: I’m going to pieces
- Why was the pie in such a grumpy mood?Answer: it felt a little crusty
- Why does a pumpkin pie sing so beautifully?Answer: it sings with filling
- What do you call a pie that crossed the country in a covered wagon?Answer: a pie-oneer
- What did the pie say while it sat on the windowsill?Answer: just cooling my heels
- What do you call a pie on an airplane?Answer: pie in the sky
- How does a pie stay in fashion?Answer: it goes à la mode
Show all 20 in Pie and dessert jokesShow fewer
- Which dessert do turkeys like best?Answer: peach gobbler
- Where do pies go on vacation?Answer: the Pie-renees
- What did the apple pie say before the big dinner?Answer: crust me, it’ll be fine
- Why was the apple pie so upset?Answer: its peelings got hurt
- Why do pie crusts love the beach?Answer: they come back golden brown
- Why do lattice-top pies seem so honest?Answer: they have nothing to hide
- What kind of pie can fly?Answer: a magpie
- Why do pies act so fancy at the dessert table?Answer: they’re upper crust
- What did the empty pie shell say to the baker?Answer: fill me in
- Why did the pumpkin pie win first prize at the bake sale?Answer: it took the cake
- What do you call a pie that loves to dance?Answer: a pie-rouette
- Why did the sweet potato pie feel left out?Answer: everyone called it pumpkin
Side dish jokes
Gravy, stuffing, cranberries, corn, sweet potatoes and a basket of dinner rolls.
- What did the cranberry sauce say when it finally cooled down?Answer: I’m all set
- How did the gravy get to dinner?Answer: it took the gravy train
- What did the gravy boat say to the dinner rolls?Answer: welcome aboard
- What did the corn say when everyone praised it?Answer: aw, shucks
- What does a band of sweet potatoes play?Answer: a yam session
- Why did the biscuit cancel its plans?Answer: it was feeling flaky
- What did the butter say to the dinner roll?Answer: I’ll spread the word
- Why do green beans make such good friends?Answer: they never spill the beans
Show all 20 in Side dish jokesShow fewer
- What did the green bean casserole say about last year’s dinner?Answer: bean there, done that
- Why did the mashed potatoes call a meeting?Answer: to mash things out
- Why is stuffing so popular at the holiday table?Answer: life of the bird
- What did the salt say to the pepper?Answer: let’s shake on it
- What does a cowboy green bean call its best friend?Answer: pod-ner
- What did everyone say about the mashed potatoes?Answer: absolutely smashing
- What do you call a basket of dinner rolls telling jokes?Answer: a bun-dle of laughs
- Why did the butter leave the party early?Answer: it was spread too thin
- What did the salad say before dinner began?Answer: lettuce give thanks
- Why did the roasted carrots cheer for the turkey?Answer: they were rooting for it
- How did the cheese feel about going into the mac and cheese?Answer: grate, thanks
- What do you call stuffing that tells jokes on stage?Answer: a stuff-up comic
Pilgrims and harvest jokes
The Mayflower, scarecrows, pumpkin patches, corn mazes and falling leaves.
- What’s a tree’s least favorite month?Answer: Sep-timber
- How do you fix a broken pumpkin?Answer: with a pumpkin patch
- What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?Answer: Plymouth Rock
- What did the Pilgrims shout when the Mayflower finally reached land?Answer: ship, ship, hooray
- What kind of jokes does a scarecrow tell?Answer: corny ones
- What did the tree say to autumn?Answer: leaf me alone
- Why does the tree change its look every fall?Answer: turning over a new leaf
- What did the acorn say when it finally grew up?Answer: gee, I’m a tree
Show all 20 in Pilgrims and harvest jokesShow fewer
- What do you call a pumpkin that watches over the whole patch?Answer: a gourd-ian
- Why was the cranberry grower smiling at harvest time?Answer: business was berry good
- How does one hay bale greet another?Answer: hay there
- What did the apple say to the orchard visitors?Answer: stop picking on me
- Why does everyone love the corn maze?Answer: it’s a-maze-ing
- What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?Answer: straw-berries
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?Answer: squash
- Why do pumpkins sit on the porch all fall?Answer: no hands to knock
- What did the Pilgrims use to bake their bread?Answer: May-flour
- Why does a scarecrow sleep so well?Answer: it hits the hay
- Why did the apple come to the harvest festival alone?Answer: its pear couldn’t make it
- What did one cornstalk say to the other?Answer: stalk to you later
Football, parade and leftovers
Giant balloons, marching bands, the big game on TV and the fridge on Friday morning.
- Why are parade balloons always in such a good mood?Answer: they’re floating on air
- What did the giant parade balloon say to the crowd?Answer: don’t let me down
- Why did the football pack a suitcase?Answer: it was going long
- Why did the kicker ask for one more slice of pie?Answer: going for the extra point
- Why did the football team stop at the bakery?Answer: they needed a turnover
- Why did the football team bring string to the game?Answer: to tie the score
- What did the last slice of pie say on Saturday?Answer: I’m one of a kind
- What do you call Friday’s turkey sandwich?Answer: the sequel
Show all 20 in Football, parade and leftoversShow fewer
- What happened when the parade balloon heard a great joke?Answer: it burst out laughing
- Why did the drum take a nap after the parade?Answer: it was beat
- Why does the quarterback always skip dessert?Answer: quarterbacks always pass
- What did the leftover turkey say when it went into the soup pot?Answer: I’m in hot water
- What did the leftovers say when the fridge door opened?Answer: we meet again
- What did one parade float say to the other?Answer: let’s roll
- Why did the referee throw a flag on the turkey?Answer: unnecessary stuffing
- What’s everyone’s favorite play after the big meal?Answer: the couch sneak
- What did the mystery container at the back of the fridge say?Answer: I’m full of surprises
- What did the parade balloon say to the windy morning?Answer: you blow me away
- Why did the marching band bring a ladder to the parade?Answer: to reach the high notes
- Why did the turkey make the football team?Answer: it gobbles up yards
Frequently asked questions
How many Thanksgiving jokes are there?
There are 100 jokes, 20 in each of five categories: turkey jokes, pie and dessert jokes, side dish jokes, Pilgrims and harvest jokes, and football, parade and leftovers. Every joke comes with its punchline, shown on the card when you tap “Show answer” and printed under it in the list on this page.
Are these jokes clean enough for the whole table?
Yes. Every joke is a pun about food, turkeys, pumpkins, parade balloons or the big game, and none is aimed at a person. They suit a table of relatives, a Friendsgiving or a team lunch before the long weekend.
How do you tell a corny joke so it lands?
Read the setup slowly, wait a beat for guesses, then give the punchline plainly, without laughing first. The groan is part of the fun, so let it happen and move straight on to the next card.
What else can we play on Thanksgiving?
For a quiz round between courses, Thanksgiving trivia has questions with answers about the 1621 feast, the meal and the parade. For more puns any time of year, try funny riddles, and for a quieter talk once the guests leave, Thanksgiving questions for couples.