Long Distance Date Ideas
Video calls, letters and shared hours across the miles, one idea at a time.
- Time
- Ten minutes to an evening
- Players
- Two people
- Best for
- The weeks between visits
- Deck
- 100 ideas in 5 categories
How to use these long distance date ideas
- Pick a category from the menu under the card, or keep “All categories”.
- Read the idea on the top card. If you both like it, put it on the calendar.
- Swipe the card away, or tap “Next idea”, for another. Ideas do not repeat until you have seen the whole category.
- Tap the heart to save an idea on this device, or tap “Make a 10-idea list” for a list you can copy.
When to plan a long distance date
A nightly call can slip into a routine of catching up. A date gives one evening a shape: something you do together, not only something you report on.
Between visits
Plan ahead together keeps the next trip in view, and a countdown makes the weeks feel shorter.
A busy week
Little surprises and By mail and message fit around work: five minutes to send, and they land when they are needed.
An anniversary apart
Dress up for a dinner date on camera, then open a letter you each mailed weeks before.
Ways to use these date ideas
Pick the next date before you hang up
Draw one card at the end of each call and set a time for it. The goodbye ends on a plan instead of a gap.
Save on both phones
Open the page on your own phones and each heart three ideas this week. Hearts stay on each device, so on Sunday read your lists to each other and keep the overlap.
One live, one by mail
Pair an idea from On a video call with one from By mail and message each week: one date you share in the moment, one that arrives later.
Tips for a good long distance date
- Write the start time in both time zones when you set a date, so nobody shows up an hour early.
- Send packages and letters early. Mail across borders can take two weeks or more.
- Keep a couple of no-prep ideas saved for evenings when one of you is worn out.
All 100 long distance date ideas by category
The complete list, grouped by category. The cards above draw from the same list, so you can read ahead here and pick there.
On a video call
Dates with both cameras on, from a shared dinner to a two-person talent show.
- Give each other a live walking tour of your street on a video call, ending at your favorite corner shop.
- Set the laptop at the end of the table and eat dinner together, with a candle lit on each side.
- Draw each other’s portrait in ten minutes on camera, then hold both drawings up at once.
- Open this site’s long distance games with one shared code and play would you rather on matching cards.
- Teach each other the one recipe you only ever make for yourself, live from your own kitchens.
- Take turns reading a children’s picture book aloud, doing every voice as dramatically as you can.
- Hold a two-person talent show: three minutes each, any talent counts, no skipping your turn.
- Join a free virtual museum tour together and each choose one piece for your someday living room.
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- Play charades using only titles of films you have both seen, with the camera framed wide.
- Sign up for the same live beginner class online, like salsa or sketching, and keep your call open beside it.
- Pick five objects from your desk and tell the story behind each one.
- Keep each other company on a quiet call while you both do chores, with no agenda at all.
- Stay on the call while you both get ready for bed, then turn out the lights at the same moment.
- Living hours apart? Call when it is sunrise for one of you and evening for the other, and show both skies.
- Dress up in your nicest clothes for a fancy dinner date on camera, even if the menu is cereal.
- Follow the same gentle stretching video with both cameras pointed at your mats.
- Teach each other three words in a language the other does not speak, then hold a tiny conversation.
- Share a code on the long distance page and play how well do you know me on both phones.
- Play twenty questions about a place you want to see together until one of you names it.
- Show up to an ordinary call with a beach towel, sunglasses and a pretend vacation backdrop.
Same thing, two places
Watch, cook or walk at the same hour in two different towns.
- Press play on the same movie at the same second, with your call still open.
- Head out for a walk at the same hour with earbuds in and describe what you pass.
- Order the same takeout dish from places near each of you and see how the two versions differ.
- Each cook a dish from the other’s hometown, then eat it together on a call.
- Listen to the same album from first track to last at the same time, then each name the song that stuck.
- Grow the same herb from seed on two windowsills and send a photo of each pot every Sunday.
- Start a new series on the same night and only watch the next episode when you both can.
- Solve the same daily word puzzle on your own mornings and swap guesses, even if it is hours later.
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- Step outside on the same clear night and find one constellation from both of your cities.
- Visit a local café at the same hour and order the drink the other always gets.
- Go to a farmers market in each town on the same Saturday and bring home one thing the other would pick.
- Build the same small model kit on the same evening and hold the finished pieces up to the camera.
- Rearrange one corner of each home over the same weekend and reveal the results on a call.
- Watch a live-streamed concert at the same time and message each other through every song.
- Open the same live animal webcam on both screens and give names to the regulars.
- Write in a journal at the same time each night and swap one page by photo every Sunday.
- Pick an hour that is breakfast for one of you and dinner for the other, and share that meal.
- Take a photo walk in each city around one theme, like red doors, and trade your best ten.
- Go for a swim, a run or a bike ride on the same morning and trade route maps afterward.
- Try the same new dessert recipe on the same afternoon and describe how yours turned out.
By mail and message
Letters, parcels and voice notes that turn waiting into something to open.
- Mail a care package built around one theme, like a rainy Sunday or a movie night.
- Write a letter by hand and decorate the envelope with a small drawing of your day.
- Send a postcard from every new place you go, even if it is only the next town over.
- Start a notebook that travels by mail: fill a few pages, send it over, wait for it to come back.
- Record a short voice note every night for a week, so the other wakes up to your voice.
- Make a shared playlist and leave a one-line note on why each song is there.
- Have a photo of the two of you printed as a small jigsaw and mail it without the picture.
- Write a short story together by text, one paragraph each, one paragraph a day.
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- Message each other a scavenger hunt list on Monday and reply with photos by Sunday.
- Seal a set of open-when letters: open when you miss me, when you cannot sleep, when the day went well.
- Swap a box of your local snacks by mail and unwrap them together on a call.
- Copy out a recipe card in your own handwriting for the dish the other asks you to make.
- List ten small things you noticed about each other on the last visit and mail the list.
- Mail each other a disposable camera, fill it with your everyday life and swap them back.
- Write a letter that stays sealed until the next visit, then read them aloud side by side.
- Record yourself reading a bedtime story and send it for the nights a call cannot happen.
- Mail a small piece of your city: a paper map, a ticket stub, a menu from a favorite spot.
- Keep a shared photo album online and add one ordinary moment from every day.
- Introduce yourself in an old-fashioned pen pal letter, as if the two of you had never met.
- Doodle a tiny comic strip of your week and send it every Sunday evening.
Plan ahead together
Visits, meet-ups and someday plans that give the distance an end date.
- Plan your next visit on a shared document, hour by hour, but leave one afternoon blank.
- Build a shared map and pin every place you want to see in each other’s city.
- Make a countdown to the next visit with one small plan for each day that is left.
- Choose a city neither of you knows and plan a dream weekend there, down to breakfast.
- Find a town roughly halfway between your homes and plan a meet-in-the-middle weekend.
- Each write five things to do in the first hour you are together again, then merge the lists.
- Choose a weekly date time that falls at a good hour in both time zones and add it to both calendars.
- Keep a running list of shows to save for when you share a couch again.
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- Plan the first meal you will cook together once you live in the same place, down to the shopping list.
- Pick an arrival tradition for every visit, like the same café or the same first walk.
- Read up on the other’s city like a tourist and plan a day there they have never had.
- Plan three versions of one visit day: one for sun, one for rain, one for snow.
- Sketch a floor plan of a home you might share someday, each drawing half of the rooms.
- Give each month of calls a theme, like film month, cooking month or music month.
- Pick a book or a film to save for the journey and enjoy it on your way to each other.
- Swap calendars for the coming month and circle every evening you are both free at once.
- Make a travel playlist for the next trip to see each other, alternating songs.
- Plan a road trip for after the distance ends, with one stop chosen by each of you.
- Write down the questions you would rather ask in person and save them for the next visit.
- Pick a skill to learn separately before the next visit, then show it off when you meet.
Little surprises
Small, unexpected gestures that land on an ordinary day.
- Send lunch to their door on a long workday, timed for when their break starts.
- Hide a note in their bag before a visit ends, somewhere they will find it days later.
- Schedule a message to arrive right after the meeting or exam they have been dreading.
- Have one flower delivered with a note that says only the date of your next visit.
- Film a short clip of the places you went together in your city and send it with no caption.
- Learn the first verse of their favorite song and sing it the moment the call connects.
- Time a letter to arrive on an ordinary Tuesday instead of a special day.
- Stay up a little late or wake a little early to be the first good morning they hear.
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- Set a photo of the two of you as your lock screen and send them a screenshot.
- Mail them the book you just finished, with your notes in the margins.
- Make a crossword with clues only the two of you would get and mail it.
- Snap the song, sign or snack that made you think of them today and send it, no story attached.
- Record a one-minute tour of your day, from first coffee to bedtime, and send it at night.
- Send one riddle a day for a week, each a clue to a small gift already on its way.
- Make a code on the long distance page and send the invite, so tonight’s game is ready when they get home.
- Write twenty things you love about them on sticky notes and mail the whole pad.
- Ask a friend in their city to drop off a homemade treat you arranged from afar.
- Wear something they left at your place on your next call and wait for them to notice.
- Change your call background to a photo from your last visit without saying a word.
- Leave a voicemail retelling how you met, as if it were a fairy tale.
Frequently asked questions
How many long distance date ideas are there?
There are 100 ideas, 20 in each of five categories: on a video call, same thing, two places, by mail and message, plan ahead together, and little surprises. The cards and the list on this page use the same set.
Can we play games together on a date?
Yes. Three ideas use the long distance games on this site. One of you makes a code and sends it; with the same code, game and category, both phones deal the same cards in the same order, and you answer over the call.
What if we live in very different time zones?
Many ideas do not need you awake at the same hour: voice notes, a notebook mailed back and forth, a daily word puzzle or a shared photo album. For live dates, look for the sunrise call or the meal that is breakfast for one of you and dinner for the other.
Do these dates cost money?
Most cost nothing beyond the call. Mail ideas need postage, and a few, like sending lunch or a flower, are optional extras you can skip in a tight month.